Sunday, March 29, 2009

I have run away.

After two weeks of kids on spring vacation and a freelance project on the side, I’ve not been able to write anything for Book 2 in way too long. With each day that passed I was getting grumpier to kids and bitchier to adults. Without even realizing it, I’d let fear take over. This book became something I had to do, an obligation—like an annual exam or helping a friend move. I was simultaneously feeling guilty about not working on it and dreading working on it.

So the day after I came home from California, I left for the weekend. Jumped in the car with my laptop minutes after deciding to go, leaving the kids and the supportive husband to fend for themselves. (To assuage my guilt here, I must add that the kids love it when I go away so they can have “Super Dad Weekend” and Scott had just had five child-free days at home.)

But the point of this whole post, without trying to sound too Oprah-esque, is to say that I have turned my feelings about Book 2 from fear back into joy. The first night here I read a short but dense book that I needed to really understand as the basis for research for Book 2, but had been far too distracted to read at home. So I finished it and then went out and sat out under the stars, which at this high altitude are incredible. I thought about the information in the book under the clear night sky and BOOM! I figured out the key. That pesky ending? Check! Suddenly I was giddy and excited to write; for the first time, Book 2 had turned from an obligation to a privilege. Someone was going to publish this thing! How could I have been such a brat about it? Can I hire one of you to kick my a** if I start getting grumpy about this again?

Sure, I have a lot of work to do in a short amount of time, but it’s doable. And, more important, it will be fun!

13 comments:

Suzanne Young said...

OH, my gosh! I totally understand. I was just feeling the same way! I was a total rag to everyone because I felt guilty for not finishing book 2, hating that I HAD to write it, and wanting to write something else.

But then, I just sat down, shut the door, and wrote. Once I got going, and stopped complaining, it started to come out.

And honestly, now that I finished it, I feel a little book lonely.

So I'm starting something new. ;-)

Congrats on getting your groove back!!!

Angie Frazier said...

Oh, wow, I would LOVE to jump in the car with my laptop and take off for a writing weekend. In fact...I'm going to plan one. You've inspired me! Good for you, and I'm so glad you've found the joy in book 2 again!

Steve Brezenoff said...

This post has inspired me, Oprahness aside. I think I'm going to plan a similar weekend for myself very soon. I pretty much long for the switch from obligation to privilege that you so ably described.

Now let's see if Beth will agree to this. . . .

PurpleClover said...

Um. Most words can not describe my thoughts at the moment. The ones that do...

hehe. kidding!

I LOVE my manuscript and have no pressure to write it and yet sometimes I feel like it can be a tiny bit of a chore. So I don't blame you! It's a lot of work! And a lot more pressure! Good luck!

Cuppa Jolie said...

Great thoughts, Christy! Thanks for sharing. I've got to figure out how to finagle one of those weekends myself!

Christy Raedeke said...

Thanks for the comments you guys! I highly recommend you all run away from home, even if that means going to a hotel 15 minutes away...

Shelli said...

Im the butt kicker you are seaching for - now go get off your arse and write. Stop complaining woman - dont you know their are starving writers in the world?! (how was that?;)

Christy Raedeke said...

Nice work, Shelli - you are a great butt-kicker!

I promise 7 pages today!

Peggy said...

and I will be butt kicker number 2! seriously christy, hop to it..I am waiting, don't make me wait!

Kimberly Derting said...

I heard that book-two-thing called the Sophomore Slump on another post in the blogosphere, and it was exactly what I had been feeling when I read it. It was the have-to instead of want-to...there's something really different about that. Glad you're over your "slump"!!! :)

stephanieburgis said...

I know exactly what you mean! And ohhh, would I love to be able to run away from home for a few days (or a WEEK!!!! sigh), but it was so refreshing just to read about your getaway. Yay for falling back in love with the book!

tonya said...

CHris, I"m so glad you feel better. AFter talking to you on the phone right before you left you had me stressed out! You sound so much better.

tonya said...

CHris, I"m so glad you feel better. AFter talking to you on the phone right before you left you had me stressed out! You sound so much better.