Saturday, April 25, 2009

All The Gym's A Stage...

The town I live in is quirky, mainly because our economy is driven by theater. Each year more than 300,000 people come to our little college town of 20,000 to see some eleven plays in three theaters. Because the Oregon Shakespeare Festival employs 500 people, you run into a lot of theater folks while doing your everyday business. The one place it’s becoming a bit much, however, is the gym.

I understand multitasking, but must one practice one’s monologue while other people are trying to catch up on their trash TV? I mean the whole reason I joined this gym was because every single machine had a TV attached to it running expanded cable – I was going to multitask by loading up on makeover shows on the Style Network while simultaneously burning my daily 500 calories. But now, as theater season swings into full gear, I’m being sabotaged by actors. Sure, I like comedia dell'arte as much as the next person on a treadmill, but even with headphones crammed as far down my ear as they’d go, I couldn’t hear a word of Dress My Nest over Truffaldino next to me running all his lines from The Servant of Two Masters while logging miles on the recumbent bike, the prefect piece of exercise equipment, it seems, for wild gesticulation.

7 comments:

PurpleClover said...

The thing I find the most amazing is how people can have conversations on their cell phone while running full speed on the treadmill. I barely have the oxygen to say "Yes" and "no" or any other monosyllabic word but CONVERSATIONS??

Makes me sick.

Wyman Stewart said...

"To do theater or not to do theater, that is the question."

It's a gym, not a theater. Management has an obligation to enforce that fact. Cellphones and anything else that is NOT provided by the Gym should be excluded also, unless it is allowed in the contract.

I give up. This is stupid. You could not walk into a theater and disturb actors practicing their craft, so why should their craft be allowed to disturb your exercise? West Toasties are an odd lot. Hoist them on their own petard, I say!

Makes me glad I have my own exercise bike; old though it is.

Katie said...

I'm with Wyman! That's nuts!!!

Little Ms J said...

Lord have mercy. Out of pure, unadulterated curiosity - what was he wearing? Please, please tell me he had on baggy hammer pants and high tops.

Christy Raedeke said...

H! ! No hammer pants - wool cap, black sweats, white shirt.

Debbie Rae said...

I feel your pain. There is a guy at my gym that must be listening to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack in his earphones every time I see him work out. I find his freakish dance moves while simultaneously on the elliptical machine completely unnerving...but I can't look away. I leave the gym feeling totally stressed out.

Kelly Hudgins said...

Not the Y. Please say it's not the Y.