Tuesday, February 3, 2009

A Blanket Apology to 22% of Readers

Every couple of months I check the Google keyword search page to see how readers end up at my blog. Still a full 22% of people who end up here are sorely disappointed, having Googled some form of "camel toe pants" and/or "three-legged fetish". The camel toe thing makes sense because of this blog post, but the three-legged fetish search has me scratching my head; I didn’t even know this was a condition of interest, and I have never blogged about it. Apparently there's lots of interest, so if you want to increase your traffic, you might want to post a little three-legged story. Another surprise traffic driver? Barbie doll heads. More people than you'd think are interested in Barbie heads, especially in combination with some other choice words, which I won't mention here for fear of even more people looking for content of questionable taste. My writing is questionable enough—throw in distasteful content and suddenly I become far too much like Anne Coulter than I am comfortable with.

Some interesting entry paths to this blog in the past couple of months:

the man who ate his head
ablaze naked
cenote ik kil disease (having swum in Ik Kil Cenote, this worries me)
high school tight pants
can men go in the dressing rooms at victoria's secret (answer here)
latex ballgag (this comes up every time)
company bought blue sky wound vac
crying indian poster (a classic)
daryl hannah nude
quantum entanglement (sorry dude, wrong blog)
electric blanket bad dreams
i need a psychic (so do I)
fetish htv
really tight pant camel toe (I like the addition of "really" to this search)
fuzzy set theory tai chi symbol (hu?)
bird feaking (not a typo)
an escher moment
barbie head necklace (this I can explain)
neon green parachute pants (this too)

I must be writing some high-brow stuff, no?


Carrie Harris said...

I'm glad I'm not the only person who gets a kick out of reading these.

Oh, and I want a Barbie head necklace so bad.

Christy Raedeke said...

Carrie - I'm sure you get even wackier people then I do, with those "undead fetishists" and all! I'd love to see your list!

AC said...

"The man who ate his head"? Really??

Face it Christy--your appeal crosses all boundaries...and I mean ALL boundaries ;)

Hardygirl said...

Our biggest google search is for "Twilight"--and we get tons and tons and tons of traffic because of Katie's one Twilight post.

Of course, narcissist that I am, I get the biggest jazz out of analyzing the searches that say "Sarah Frances Hardy". Who is googling me? Why? Do I know anyone in North Dakota?

Once I was convinced we had a stalker because we kept getting a zillion hits from someone in Brandon, Mississippi who owned a Mac. And this person was often on our blog at the same time that I was! Freaky. Katie informed me that the "someone" was me--I was just showing up as being from Brandon for some reason.

PurpleClover said...

Ooh, someone from Spain googled "blaring white pants" and got my blog. So weird!

Katie said...

How do you do that Christy? I want to see what ours are. The Twilight ones are obvious and come in by the hundreds. Every hour all day. Twilight Twilight Twilight!

But we've never done the google search thing.

Yours crack me up.

Robin said...

I will definitely have to try to include "latex ballgag" in my posts to increase traffic!

These are hilarious...