Tuesday, March 2, 2010

There's a reason it only happens once a year...

Some homekeeping duties are gross (kid’s bathroom) some are depressing (file organization) but only one is gross and depressing: deep cleaning the fridge.  It’s a trip down bad memory lane—nothing found in the back of the fridge brings back fond memories. Party food always gets eaten, yummy desserts never last more than a day, celebratory champagne doesn’t even make it back in there. No, what's left to excavate from the dark recesses of the fridge are things like gallon jars of Flax seeds from that organic antioxidant kick I was on for about 12 minutes, or bottles of kid’s probiotics that remind me of when my daughter was so very sick last summer after I started my new job. Leftovers from a terrible dinner weeks ago now look like a topographical map of Nicaragua and the fish oil capsules from the anti-aging diet I found in some magazine are so old they fused together and look more like a resin sculpture than supplements. The hoarder in me is uncovered as well, in bag after bag after bag of coffee beans. My fear of having a caffeine-free morning has manifested in hundreds of dollars worth of coffee beans clogging the bins where vegetables are supposed to be kept crisp. I blame this vegetable displacement for the unidentifiable ziploc baggie full of mush that got wedged back behind martini olives from the last century. The horrifying contents of said baggie might, with the tools available at a forensic lab, be traced back to the celery family.

Am I the only one who sees the uncleaned fridge as a Petri dish of failures?

9 comments:

storyqueen said...

I just found a container of left-over enchiladas.....FROM CHRISTMAS!!

just gross, my friend.

(Love the topographical map of Nicaragua!)

Shelley

PJ Hoover said...

I'm amazed sometimes as what I find in my veggie drawer. The message is I should eat more veggies.

Jody said...

So funny, Christy. I totally relate. This is the first time I've lived in a house for over two years (over six, now) and I had to get it ready to sell. I STILL haven't done the fridge. It scares me.

Anonymous said...

I lived with my g'mother for 18 months after high school graduation and part of my 'job' there was to keep Granny from growing science experiments in the fridge. She came from the depression era and didn't want to throw anything out. (she put about 3/4 cup worth of spaghetti in a container and marched it out to her freezer chest. "You never know when you might be hungry and need this."

So face your fridge fearlessly and fling the fetid foods!

WandaV

Christy Raedeke said...

Hilarious comments!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who puts this off!

Anonymous said...

WandaV said it in such a cute way, it should be a jingle for a commercial for baking soda or some such refrigerator cleanser. I hate the way veggies seem to form a soggy mass in their plastic bags, and NEVER try to open the bags! Congrats on finally tackling the job!
CAM

Tina Laurel Lee said...

Lovely. The refrigerator is the last thing I ever want to do.

Barbara Slaton DRE#01855977 said...

Yuck -- it must run in the family...I hate cleaning the frige more than any other job (and don't even ask if I move the frige to clean UNDER it).
Beware of martini olives that get cloudy brine, exotic condiments barely used, honey that gets crystals, etc. It's all pretty scary, really.
Feels good when you get it done though, huh?

Anonymous said...

Hey, Barb, isn't that a "dirty martini"?
Carol