Cue the Funeral Dirge

So I opened my blog today and read the last few entries and wondered when the plaintive violin music was going to start. Geeze, lighten up, man! Since I’m obviously incapable of writing anything unelegiac right now, I bring you: Jokes From Around the World.

According to the Internet, which is always right, these are the top jokes in various countries. If we can glean anything at all from this collection it’s that Belgium should stick solely to beer and chocolate as exports.

US:
A man walks into a bar..........OUCH!

England:
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”

Belgium:
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Italy:
How do you get Holy Water?
You boil the Hell out of it.